My Adoption Story

This post are for those who are interested in my adoption story. This is the letter my parents wrote me when a good friend of mine asked about my story:

We knew one day you would ask us, Sarah, for your adoption story. That time has come. We have prayed that when this day came, we would be rejoicing together with you in how God has wonderfully put our family together. That is truly the case today and for that we cannot thank God enough. Sarah, here is your story!

Before we were married, we had already decided to have three children. However, not long after our marriage, your dad began to feel like two biological children were enough and that it would be very nice to adopt our third child. For a long time your dad kept this to himself, but one day the topic somehow came up and we were surprised to know that both of us were thinking and feeling the same thing. This seemed to us like confirmation that this was Gods plan for our family.

In October 1983 we asked permission from the Free Methodist Mission to begin the adoption process. After some deliberation, the board of missions informed us that the mission did not allow their missionaries to adopt children from their country of service during their first term. For us that was a 4 ½ year term. The logic was that sometimes people could be overcome with a false sense of duty or misplaced zeal and do something that later they might regret. Thus, they required their missionaries to move slowly for adoption and then make a decision during the second term. So, we waited out the years of our first term without any wavering in our hearts about our wanting to adopt a Filipino child. Actually, we didnt care what country the child would be from. However, because we were appointed to the Philippines, we naturally decided to pursue the adoption of a child from there. During our first home assignment, we again applied to the board of missions of the FMC to grant us permission to begin the process of adopting in the Philippines upon our return to the field. In the Fall board meeting of the mission board, in October 1986, the board granted us permission. We were beginning to see how God was at work in the process that would bless us with our third child! We were so confident that we went out and started buying baby girl clothes!

In March 1987 we returned to the Philippines from our home assignment in the States. We did not share with either of our families about our plan to adopt in the Philippines. We wanted to surprise them all, if it did work out. We went to the Philippines Department of Social Services and asked what we needed to do in order to adopt a child. By May 1987 we had met all the requirements and all the paperwork was done for the application process. We were put on a waiting list at Social Services. We were number 7 for a newborn baby girl. During our first term, we had talked long and hard about the baby we would adopt. Since we already had 2 boys, it was only logical to us that we adopt a girl. However, we wanted a newborn baby. That way we would all grow together as a family and be able to create the bonds necessary for that to occur.

DAD: Since your mother was a college graduate with a degree in Social Work, when we had to undergo visits and evaluation by a social worker who was assigned to our case, she made a surprise offer to your mom. Why dont you write up the Home Study for the Department of Social Services regarding your eligibility to adopt. After all, you've had the training. Naturally your mother agreed and guess what? Our Home Study was absolutely amazing. We looked almost like saints!!!

Not long after the Home Study was done, one of our missionary friends called us because they had taken an unwed mother into their home. She told them she wanted her baby, when it was born, to be adopted by a Christian family.
We talked long and hard about this situation. Finally we decided that if the unwed mother (your biological mother) was willing to go to the Department of Social Services and surrender her baby, and if the baby was a girl we would adopt her. The social worker temporarily matched us with your biological mother. That meant that if when you were born, you were a girl, and if your biological mother still wanted to sign the surrender papers, you would be ours. So lots of ifs. We never personally met your biological mother, Sarah. However, we want you to know that your mother did the most loving thing she could do for you when she gave you up for adoption and when she specified a Christian family to be the adoptive parents. Everything was done through the missionary and the social worker from the Department of Social Services.

DAD: At 10 minutes before midnight on August 21, 1987, the phone rang, awakening us out of a deep sleep. I stumbled out of bed and in the darkness groped for the phone. As I picked up the phone and placed it to my ear, it was met by the excited exclamations of our missionary friend yelling, You have your girl! You have your girl!
Then our friend went on to describe the scene before her. You were just born in their home on a Friday evening. Seems your biological mother did not know she was in labor, and you were about one month EARLY! This missionary called us while the umbilical cord was still attached between you and your biological mother. So, we were right in on the very beginning of your new life. Then the home delivery team of Fabie Maternity Clinic was called and the doctor was the one who cut your umbilical chord and cleaned you up.

DAD: Because of the blank look on my face and the startled responses that I gave to this friend of ours, your mother was absolutely convinced that her own mom and dad must have been killed in some kind of an accident or something and this was the telephone call informing us of the bad news. Whats going on! Has something happened to my Dad? Mom. . .?
No, I answered back to her, numb with the news. We are now the parents of a new baby girl.
What! your mom yelled. And she bolted straight up in the bed. She wasnt due to be born till the middle of September!
The reason for our shock was the whole scenario which surrounded the pregnancy of your biological mother. Because we did not want to be disappointed in case the baby was a boy, we hardly allowed ourselves the luxury of thinking about you. Thus, when we found out that you were born and a girl! We were totally unprepared. We actually had no milk, bottles,, and etc in the house.
Wow! Did we ever enter into a lively conversation about how we were going to begin to get all of the stuff that we would need for when you would come home with us. And this conversation was quite animated because there was no indication how long it would take before you were finally released to us by the Department of Social Servicesone month; six months; one year?

DAD: Rrrrrrrrriiiiinnnnngggg. The phone rang again and I reached over and picked it up. It was our missionary friend calling back about 10 minutes later with some further thoughts that she had. You know, I am seven months pregnant myself . My husband and I have just talked about it and decided that we need to give the baby to one of our friends TONIGHT, until the Department of Social Services opens on Monday. But since you are going to be the adoptive parents anyway, who better of our friends should we give this baby to than you. Thus, how soon can you come over to the house to pick up the baby?
With another blank look of numb shock, I looked over at your mom and said, She wants us to come and get the baby right now. Now your mom literally flew out of the bed. Scarcely looking at me, she zoomed around me down to the helpers room to inform them that they had to get up and watch Joshua and Caleb while we drove over to get our new daughter. Naturally Ate Ding, our helper, was absolutely excited about the news.
Within a few seconds of your moms exit from our bedroom I was now left alone in the new silence. All of a sudden, it was as if the Lord Jesus Himself came and stood directly in front of me. His presence was so real that I felt I could have reached out and touched Him. Then in words that were so warm and yet dripping with the love of a parent, Jesus said, I give her to you.
Those words absolutely transformed me, Sarah. I had a sense of the receiving of the full responsibility for you. But more than that, I was completely bonded with you as my daughter at that moment. With Joshua and Caleb it took a couple of months. This is a normal process for fathers. We dont carry the children for 9 months inside of us you know. Thus, for me to bond with you so completely and so immediately is truly a miracle from the Lord.

On Saturday morning, just 8 hrs after your birth, we took you to Aunt Ritchie Tan, your pediatrician. When she weighed you, with diaper on, you weighed 4 lbs. Thats very small!!! You really were a premature baby! She also gave you a tetanus shot in case there had been anything unsterile in your delivery process.
We waited for 10 days after your birth till your biological mother signed the surrender papers at the Department of Social Services. Those were 10 long days! Then we waited for another year before we could officially begin the adoption process. During that time anyone from either your biological mothers or your biological fathers family could still come and claim you. Those were anxious days for us. By Gods grace we made it through that year. Then there was the home study, the court hearing, the petitioning the U.S. Embassy for immigrant visa status for youall with lots of requirements and waiting periods. Through it all God gave us an abiding peace that He had given you to us and we could trust HIM to take care of all those details. We are so thankful for the wonderful gift your were ours!

How did our families in the U.S. respond to the news of our adoption? They were ecstatic! They loved you before they even saw you for the first time!

Sarah, there were so many miracles with the actual adoption process. Let me just say this, God intended you for US! Just one month after our court hearing for your adoption, the Philippine government changed the home code. No longer could foreigners living in the Philippines adopted Filipino children. Our adoption was not yet finalized. However, your adoption was granted! Some other missionaries were caught in the changing of the home code and had to finalize their adoptions in the U.S. Also, the social worker LIED while being questioned by the judge at your adoption hearing. Your adoption case could have been thrown out of court. However, by Gods mercy, it wasnt. The U.S. Embassy miraculously granted us an Immigrant Visa to take you to the U.S. and after 6 months stateside, you were granted U.S. Citizenship. That was January 1991. When you became a U.S. citizen we were allowed to change anything on your original birth certificate. We changed your name as we've indicated above. We also changed your birth date to August 21 since by our clocks you were born 10 minutes before midnight on the 21st. Your biological mother however, when she filed your original birth certificate, reported that you were born on the 22nd. You know.American time and Filipino time! Clocks are always about 20 min. different!

So thats it, Sarah! Thats how God made it possible for you to be ours! We are so blessed to have you in our family! You are truly a gift from God right from His hand into ours!

Love,

Mom & Dad